The Mad Mom's Manifesto

Hello Tomorrow! Avon Gives Away $5k A Week

Avon has created the Hello Tomorrow Fund. Every week since April 15, 2007, $5,000 has been awarded to an individual to help realize a program, project or idea to empower women. Definitely check this out, this is one of the few grants/funds that will award an individual and not just a non-profit. Last week's winner, will use her winnings to create the Rail Town Community Garden - a program that will teach underprivileged women to create a garden and grow their own sustainable and healthy food.

What You Talkin' 'bout Willis?

Wow, I just read about Gary Coleman's upcoming appearance on Divorce Court (I know - who knew he was married!) and it's so sad!

"I don't have any friends and don't have any intention of making any," he says. "People will stab you in the back, mistreat you, talk about me behind your back, steal from you. And they're not really your friends. (They're) only there because you're a celebrity or because they want to get something from you."

Coleman went on to describe the couple's private life as "mediocre."

"It's not her fault," he says. "I always feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders every day I get up. ... There are days I don't even want to get up."

His parents really did a number on his head! A poster of him needs to hang in every potential stage parent's room as a reminder of what can happen when you don't put your child first in this business. He just sounds like a very lonely (even though technically he's somewhat of a newlywed) and depressed man who is unable to make any real connections with people.

To Stay Or Not To Stay

Check out a new blog, Pieces of Mom. Read about one mom's journey as she decides whether or not to end her marriage after she finds some trifling text messages he exchanged with a mutual friend of theirs. It's complicated because they have two kids. Is anyone faithful now a days? Even emotional intimacy with someone other than your significant other can be considered a betrayal. So go on her journey with her and feel free to chime in with your own experiences and advice.

10 Signs You're About To Get Fired and What To Do About Them

Guest blogger Yaslani shares her witty tips about what to do when it seems as though the big boot of your employer is getting ready to kick you out the door.

We all know the signs; whispering, cold shoulder treatment, discretely placed pink slips. It’s not hard to tell when you’re headed to the unemployment line but what do you do during that awkward time before you get the boot? Here are 10 ways to handle the stress:

1. Silent treatment – Sad but true, you’ll usually be the last to know. Everyone will know you’re about to get canned way before you even get a whiff of trouble. Nobody wants to be the bad guy and tell you themselves. Don’t despair, enjoy it. No one talking to you means that Fran from accounting can’t bore you with details about her cat’s glaucoma surgery.
2. The “if” game – What if you had to become a janitor? Would you be devastated? Managers may play the “if game” to see how postal you’re likely to go. Tell Mr. Nosey no one has been fired in your family in 12 generations and if it happened he might want to watch his cubicle. It’s Saran Wrap time.
3. Odd man out – Have your co-workers started having lunch and going to happy hour without you? Lunch and Happy Hour gossip is like the watercooler times ten. Take a suggestion from Bonnie Raitt and give them something to talk about. Come to work dressed in a grass skirt, coconut bra and eye patch. The subject of you getting fired may never come up.
4. RSVP not necessary – Speaking of odd man out, you notice you are also not getting invites to meetings or company social events. Your boss wants to see you as little as possible before he fires you, which is why your invites keep getting lost in the mail. Look on the bright side, do you really want to sit in on dull meetings or stodgy office parties? You are officially off the hook. Go to a bar and get drunk with your real friends like a normal person.
5. Blame game – Are you getting blamed for everything including mishaps on your day off? This is a classic move. The whole office will hold you responsible for all problems – from missing paperclips to botched financial statements, even if you just answer the phones. Rest assured it will all be your fault for at least three months after your departure. If you’re going to get blamed anyway, make it worth your time. Don’t just steal cheap office supplies. Unplug the network printer and wheel that baby out to your car in the middle of the afternoon.
6. War games – When one person is about to be fired there will always be at least one other person who knows it could be them. So what do they do? They’ll campaign to make sure you get fired so they can live another day. Think dog eat dog meets Survivor. Since you will probably get fired anyway, why not have some fun? Tell your co-workers that you saw your competitor watching internet porn. You’ll get fired this time but he will probably be next.
7. Dead man walking – Are you getting a lot of sad looks and pats on the back? Fake sympathy can be a devious distraction but also a blessing in disguise. Make your co-workers feel as guilty as possible. If you play your cards right you could come out of this with a couple free lunches and some nice parting gifts.
8. True Colors – If you have a managerial position and your subordinates refuse to do anything you say, throw productivity out the window. Your employees know you are on the way out so they’re going to make you as miserable as you’ve been making them. Turn it around and be a hero. Let your department leave at 2:00. Order lunch for them everyday and expense it to the company. Surely they’ll mourn when you leave.
9. Technical Difficulties – Ok, if all of sudden your key card and email aren’t working and the IT guy refuses to fix it, no worries. Time for a little vacay, you’ll probably be surfing YouTube at home by noon.
10. Time out corner – Before you are let go, you may be banished to a broom closet or dusty crevice of the office, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing if you don’t care about the view. This will give you a lot of uninterrupted time to post your resume on Monster.com or make free long distance calls.

Getting fired is painful. Just like getting dumped in a relationship you always think it’s the end of the world. When enough time goes by, you’ll realize it was for the best and maybe even the best thing that could have happened to you. Or make a YouTube video about your experience, maybe you’ll get your own reality show or book deal out of it. Who knows? It could happen…

Yaslani still has her day job, but check out her fabulous artwork and buy something…just in case.

Go Momma!

There's no shortage of moms coming up with fab biz ideas so they can work at home and enjoy their little (or big) ones as they grow. Starting on May 5, I'm taking part of 30 Days with 30 Enterprising Moms which will showcase a super mom (cape included) and her business every day for well...30 days. So check back often and read up on mom-run/mom approved products and businesses.

If you're a mom and you have a business (and a blog) and would like to take part, we still have room. Of course, there's some work involved, but it's worth it. Here's the deal, during the month of May, 30 mom bloggers will write up profiles, interviews, etc. about one another. That means each mom will be profiled in 30 blogs and in return she has to write 30 profiles of different moms. It's a great way to network and gain exposure for your business. Drop me a line if you want to take part in the fun! Don't sleep, I need to get you signed up by April 25 if you want to take part.

Go Green and Get Greenbacks!

Ok, if writing a children's story isn't your thing, maybe this contest will be up your alley. The Sundance Channel and Lexus Hybrid are willing to drop $10,000 in your environmentally friendly lap if you can come up with a big idea on how to make the world a cleaner and greener place. Click here for details of Sundance's What's the Big Idea contest.

Tell Me A Bedtime Story

Dust off your keyboard and tap out that children's story that's been brewing in the back of your mind. Oh if only it were that easy! Seriously, Cheerios (of all companies) is sponsoring a writing contest. They're launching Spoonfuls of Stories. Starting April 16, 2008 and going through July 15, 2008, Cheerios invites previously unpublished adult authors to submit their children's book manuscripts. The book should be suitable for children who are 4 to 8 years old. Cheerios will provide cash prizes to up to three winners, and the top winner will have their book evaluated by Simon & Schuster Children's Publishing for a potential book deal.

Calling All Creative Moms!

Have an idea that will change the world and make mommyhood easier? Whirlpool is sponsoring their Mother's of Invention contest and the first place winner receives $20,000 grant, Duet® or Cabrio® washer and dryer pair, a Whirlpool Fabric Freshener and a $3,000 stipend for a new home office. What I wouldn't give for a new washer and dryer (and someone to actually do the laundry)! Click here for more info, the actual contest doesn't begin until May 11th so get those ideas percolating. There's also another great opportunity for women writers. The J-Lab: The Institute for Interactive Journalism is seeking to fund three women-led start-ups that will generate new ideas in the world of news and information and model a spirit of journalistic entrepreneurship. You don't get a free washer and dryer but $10,000 isn't so bad either. Click here for more info, the deadline is May 1st.

Prince Charming or Sammy the Stalker

written by Yaslani

Everyone likes attention. I’m a sucker for hearing how fabulous I am and if the worshiper just happens to be an attractive man, even better! But where is the line between innocent infatuation and cuckoo-clock crazy?

Unfortunately I have a little too much experience in this arena. If there is a man within a 50 mile radius with stalker tendencies, my phone number is probably in his speed dial. So I’m going to share what I’ve learned about myself and the relationships that haven’t ended so well.

Hindsight is always 20/20. After the fact even Stevie Wonder can see that man was going to be a problem. But how does that help you today when you find yourself parking six blocks away from your house and changing your phone number every other week? Wouldn’t it be easier if you knew the signs from the beginning and you could stop the potential stalker in his tracks? Of course!

Take a look at these 5 men and see if any of them look familiar:

The Hopeless Romantic
This guy is the one we all fall for. Since Romeo lured Juliet into a suicide pact, stalking has been mistaken for romance. The Hopeless Romantic lays it on thick. He sweeps you off your feet, lavishes you with attention and gifts. He calls constantly just to tell you he’s thinking about you. He wants to marry you and father your three perfect little babies.  So what’s the problem? You’ve only been on two dates. Sure this may seem like a fairy tale come true but step back from the two dozen roses that just arrived at your office and think logically. People who fall in love easily usually fall out just as easy or worse yet; never want to let it go. This is the guy who doesn’t want to hear it’s over and will probably continue his wooing campaign long after your interest in him has expired. I blame Hollywood. The guy who won’t give up always gets the girl in the movies. Remember the scene in Say Anything when John Cusack holds up the radio in the rain under his paramour’s window? What woman didn’t shed a romantic tear and secretly wish that would happen to her? I know I did until an ex showed up at my house at midnight screaming how I’m a bitch for not taking him back. Not quite the Hollywood ending you see in the movies. In fact I’m guessing John Cusack’s character ended up with a restraining order. Romance is great but it should build over time and should never make you feel uncomfortable.

The Control Freak
The Control Freak has an idea of who you are or should be and refuses to accept anything less. He’s the guy who tells you how gorgeous you are in that slinky black dress but if you’d just lose that pot belly you’d be even better. Ouch! Women who find themselves with this guy (myself included) really believe on some level that the man is just being honest and there is nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself. The problem is you will never be good enough for this loser because concentrating on your flaws allow him (and you) to ignore his flaws. You’re a thing to him, not a person and people don’t let go of their possessions that easily. Don’t walk away, run. The first time a man suggests you’d be perfect if…ask for the check and leave that jackass in the dust.

The Curiously Obsessed

He wants to know all about you. He’s just interested. What’s your sign, your favorite food, and your natural hair color? Where did you grow up, what is your best friend’s maiden name, what color is your toothbrush? Of all the stalker types this is the one I find the most creepy and disturbing. At first a relationship with the curiously obsessed may not really be a relationship at all, at least not to you. In your mind you’re just getting to know a good friend and he’s getting to know you. But then it get’s weird. He just happens to show up everywhere you go. Then he makes up a fake persona online just so he can cyber-stalk you. The Curiously Obsessed acts normal when he sees you but in reality he’s compiling a detailed dissertation of any intimate feature this perv can uncover. Cut this guy off at the knees. Don’t even casually speak to him. No good can come from this at all.

The Mood Swinger
All relationships have their ups and downs but the mood swinger makes you personally responsible for how he feels at any given moment. If he’s happy, you are the best woman ever and he could never be happy or even live without you. If he’s not happy, watch out. You made him lose his job, you made him kick the dog, you made him take out a post office. If only you were caring enough and gave him a fair chance everything would be ok. He doesn’t want you to leave him because his whole world will fall apart. Obviously this man has emotional problems only a licensed psychiatrist can handle. Don’t attempt to fix him because you can’t.

The “What About Me” Man
This relationship may start out as pity. The “What About Me” man has no friends, no relationship with his family and no one cares about him…except you. He wants to go everywhere you go. Anything you want is fine with him. He wants to do everything you want to do and for a while this may actually appear to be a perfect union. However, maybe there is a good reason why this man has no friends. Maybe his clinginess gets annoying after a while and trust me, it will. He wraps his whole life up in you and if you leave him the abandonment may be too much for this sap to bear. What About Me man won’t go away quietly and a weepy, crying man is not a pretty sight.

Check Yourself.
Sadly, I have had experience with all of these men. What I recognize now is my emotional unhealthiness welcomed them all in with open arms. I’ve been single for a while working on myself and so I don’t fall victim to the Hopeless Romantic’s honey coated words or the impossible standards of the Control Freak. The one thing all the stalker types have in common is their lack of concern for how you feel or what you want. It’s never about you even though you will undoubtedly take it very personal. These men have problems that existed way before you met them and will probably be there until they realize they need help. You can’t change them but you can change yourself. The next time you encounter a potential stalker, your self-esteem won’t allow you to fall for it.

Though she may have dated her fair share of nut jobs, she creates fabulous art.  Check out Yaslani's Groovespot.

Kids + Teasing = Intervention

Does anyone else feel as though they’re just muddling through this whole parenting thing? Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing too much? Not enough? I know that kids will be kids and teasing sometimes may be a part of it, and you do want your kid to learn how to fight their own battles…but I felt a serious need to step in and intervene the other day.

First off, let's note that I'm not exactly sure when the alleged “incident” took place. Kort forgot to tell me the day it happened. As she recounted the story to me (over Spring Break no less), she said it happened on Monday, Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday So you see what I'm working with here?

She's in an aftercare program at school where they do their homework before moving on to a fun activity. On Monday, Tuesday or it could have been Wednesday, a few of her classmates and some other kids were sitting at a table next Kort's and making fun of my name. I've already gone through elementary school, I've heard it all - do your worst first graders. At first I was like "whatever," I've got bills to pay, some little kids fooling around are the least of my worries.

As I thought about it though, I started to get a little pissed because Kort said there was an aide at the table when this was happening. Back in the day when I was growing up, talking about someone's mom was an invitation to scrap. I felt as though the teacher should have said something - especially after Kort asked the kids, "are you talking about my mom?" And one of the girls said, "yeah, so?"

Being the new-age-too-involved parent that I am, I called the program because I felt like the kids need to be reprimanded for being disrespectful and they needed to apologize to Kort. The program administrator agreed with me. A small part of me wondered if I was being too over the top about it...but on the flip side, kids don’t have any boundaries today. They sound and look like little adults and have way too much of a sense of entitlement. Is anybody with me on this one? I do my best to keep my kid in check and I’m not going to send her to school and have all that I’ve taught her discarded. Am I overreacting? What would you have done?