Pieces of Mom

Have the Lights Been Dimmed??

i think i just lost my "inside eye" into things because i think whore-se changed his e-mail password. hopefully it was a glitch in the system because if EVER i needed insight into his line of thinking, it's NOW, during the divorce proceedings.

BUT i can at least say that i had some fun today with my access to his e-mail.  you see, last night i reunited with some college friends in NYC (which is not too far of a drive from me) and i took the kids.  my daughter really has issues going to the boxing gym (um, surrounded by such whoreishness, can you really blame the girl), and plus, i'd rather have her around REAL women and better role models. so the kids and i had a WONDERFUL dinner with friends in the city.  after reading yet another e-mail from skankshine to whore-se, it became apparent that they spent a bit of time together while we were away.

so here's where the fun comes in.

Ok, I know I call myself taking the high road MOST of the time in hopes that God and Karma do their thing, buuuuuuuut sometimes it's fun (and oh so immature) to help out a little along the way.
Apparently whore-se's main skeeze got some grief about some workout she and a friend were doing at the gym (where i teach by the way) as evidenced by the e-mail she sent to whore-se at 12:31 this morning.


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From skankshine to whore-se:

I owe you an apology; tonight I was a little upset. It was so minor that I tried very hard not to let that come between my happiness in seeing you. That's why I thanked you for making me laugh.

You know how much I enjoy working out and while working out @ [the gym] tonight, we were approached by two (2) of the Personal Trainers about how we were Personal Training each other and having a Group class that is against [gym] policy! They said our workout looked "TOO STRUCTURED";
They interrupted our workout and also the workout of the two clients that they had. It was very unprofessional and they made accusations without finding out the fact that we were just working out having fun. I can totally understand how they may have felt "threatened" because all eyes were on us. They showed their lack of confidence in themselves.

I sent an email about the situation and will see what kind of feedback I get.

Well as you can see it's 12:30 and I'm still a little hyped; but it's time for me to go to bed!

Chat tomorrow, Sunshine!

SMILE 4 ME
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interjection: ARRRRRRRRRRGH! there's that sickeningly corny 'smile for me' performance monkey command.  does that actually turn them on when they say that to each other???  it's pretty lame in the romance department when your intimate phrase is something you'd hear your dentist say to you after a spit rinse.  give me a freakin' break and SOMEONE please watch the Lifetime movie channel or something to give these selfish morons some better lines!

and speaking of lines, i LOVED that one line in her e-mail.  holy sh*t batman, did anyone happen to catch the size of the ego on her????  gotta LOVE this line:  'I can totally understand how they may have felt "threatened" because all eyes were on us.'  um skank whore, IF all eyes were on you, they were probably accompanied by mental thoughts that equated to: "if i didn't know any better, i'd say that it looks as though 2 hamhocks are fighting it out in those tights of hers. i SWEAR i smell bacon from the friction each time she runs from wall to wall."  [MEOW]

but i digress, and here's where the immature child in me came out.  when i saw that skankshine was sooooooo wronged by the personal trainers who stopped her AMAZING and AWE-INSPIRING, biggest LOSER workout (way to go personal trainers -- my new best friends!!!!), and decided to write an e-mail to the gym, well i decided to write one too -- check it out:

Hello. I was wondering about the personal training/ personal fitness
policy at [gym]. At the Ocean location, I've often noticed a group
of members holding a very structured personal training session within
the fitness studio. From what I understand of the policy, we must rely
on [gym's] personal training staff and fitness classes (which I LOVE by
the way) to provide the workout, OR our own individual workouts on the
machines. I agreed with the policy because I understand safety and
liability reasons, as well as the fact that you are a business that
provides a certain service, and similiar to not bringing food into a
restaurant, one would not bring in fitness classes or outside personal
training sessions into a gym that already offers those services. With
that said, has the policy changed? Can I use the fitness studio for any
class that I'd like to implement? I'll understand entirely if you say
"no," and if so, all I ask is that you please enforce that policy across
the board, with all of the members.

Thank you for your time.

- Olive

I did not list my phone number for fear of any repercussions associated
with 'tattling.'
-------------------------------------------------------------------

i love the fact that my gym listens to it's 'very concerned' members.  here was the reply i received:

Hi Olive, first I would like to say thank you for being a loyal member with us and second, thank you for sending your feeback about the Ocean club.

We have been informed of this situation and we are in the process of handling it. Our no-coaching/personal training policy has not changed.

Again, thank you for your feedback.

Have a great day,

Paul

-----------------------------------------------

note to self:  add paul to this year's christmas card list.

hmmmmmmmmm, i wonder what 'feedbag' (whoops, silly me, i meant 'feedback'... meow) skankshine received for her e-mail....

my bro (gotta love him) said that i should have sent another e-mail, concerned that i'd suspected skankshine of being a male, posing as a female in the women's locker room... LOL.  he's also the same bro who lovingly refers to skankshine as 'oil spill' and wrote: "i hope oil spill's fiance finds out about her cheating, and dumps her like the exxon valdez."  i love my bro, he stays on my christmas card list.

as i mentioned earlier, i think he changed his e-mail password, but at least i got my fun in for the day. :-)  let's just all think positive thoughts that i still have access to his e-mail.

Oh the Callousness of it All...

HEY HONEY, SMILE 4 ME!

Ok, is it:

a. a corny line deserving to be in a cheezy b-porn

b. yet another phrase to add to the "throw up now" file

c. what a homewrecking skank would e-mail to a married father of 2 young children

d. all the above

if you answered 'd,' you're my new friend.

Was it just yesterday that i actually cried as whore-se and i hugged on the sofa, after we briefly discussed the letter from my lawyer that he'd received, hit with the realization that our marriage of almost 6 yrs was coming to an end. was it that long ago that as we hugged whore-se confided in me that he'll "always love me," and i told him that he'd "always have a special place in my heart." well it doesn't take long to snap back to reality when you've got access to your selfish bastard of a "hubby's" e-mail. plus that whole "i'd still like to make love to you one last time" comment yesterday helped pull a "moonstruck, 'snap out of it'" moment on me.  to quote a famous line from one tweenage movie, "ugh, as if."

um not only was the idea of even sleeping with someone who, by the very nature of cheating on me with a fellow cheater, had become a walking petridish of possibly every VD this side of the Mississippi, BUT could you IMAGINE if i'd accidentally gotten pregnant by him?!?!?  THAT'S enough to make any woman look at ANY female (or she-male) jerry springer guests and say to herself, man i sure wish i could trade places with THAT woman!  UGH, i think i just threw up in my mouth!

anyways, did my usual obsessive-bordering-on-OCD search of whore-se's e-mail and what did i find sent at 11:34 am today. anyone want to take a wild guess?? anyone? anyone? buler? well here's a clue, it started off with the smell of corn, and the words, "HEY HONEY...,"  and was followed by a joke.  after reading that, my day today pretty much went downhill in a growing snowball of frustration. i was really SICK today over the fact that there is such callousness surrounding this whole mess.  i'm 99.99999% sure that whore-se told his skankshine about the lawyer's letter, YET instead of having a bit of morality and saying "hey listen, maybe we should rethink what we're doing.  your marriage is really headed for divorce," and Heaven forbid, even having the decency to put her selfishness aside to step out of the picture, she sends jokes. i suppose it doesn't matter to her, a woman and MOTHER who babysat our kids; hugged our kids; kissed our kids; etc., is about to MAJORLY change the innocent lives of 2 little children.  and what's even more sad, is that it doesn't seem to matter to whore-se either.  sure i'm bummed for myself, but i'm bummed even moreso for my children. 

but hey, she can wipe her immorality slate clean by forwarding one of the many religious, "just let Jesus into your lives" e-mails that she's so inclined to forward (probably without reading because she's probably too busy eyeing men's ring fingers for her next, ego-satisfying conquest).  can't say it enough: pious hypocrite!

as far as whore-se, i guess his plan is falling nicely into place.  having expected divorce and all (because hey, he obviously did whatever he could to sabotage ANY attempts at salvaging our marriage), he's already got his sights set on a quaint, detached, $330K, 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom house close to the 'his' boxing gym.  found the printout tucked away into one of those free grocery store real estate magazines. i wouldn't doubt it if they looked at the house together.

ok, someone PLEASE remind me again of WHY i was crying yesterday...

Not Sure of What to Make, of the Snakes

Well whore-se got the letter on sat, as per word of mouth NOT from whore-se, but from a mutual friend who said that whore-se called him from the yankees ballgame where he was, and said "yo man, got some bad news; just got my divorce papers."  that was pretty much the entire conversation.

that was sat.  all sat evening and sun went by with no mention of having received the letter.  i didn't mention it because i figured i'd let him digest it, and realize that things were over.

he called my office this morning and said that he had something at home to show me.  turns out he wanted to talk about the letter.

when he asked what it meant, i said "it's your ticket to freedom."  we talked calmly about it, and i made it a point to not mention his skankshine, as i wanted the conversation free from finger pointing and blame laying.  i even asked him if i could sit next to him on the sofa and we held each other.  tears rolled down my cheek as the realization hit me that it's really gonna be over in a matter of months.

not that i would turn back if he made some sort of attempt to reconcile because the trust factor has been shattered, and the utter lack of respect -- unimaginable.  yet i still found myself crying at the thought of such 'finality.'

i will say that whore-se has balls (and of course is EAGER to use them every chance he gets) because he said "mind if i sleep in the bed toinght."  my reply: "ok, but don't get angry if nothing happens."  his reply: "i'd like to make love with you one last time."  ok, he should have his own line of tissues because he knows just the right thing to say to stop the tears from flowing -- well not totally because they did come back for a bit when i recounted to a girlfriend what seemed to be a heartfelt breakup between myself and whore-se. the tears flowed; she was my voice of reason and said something to the effect of not feaing bad about jose's financial situation following the divorce because his selfishness basically altered 3 lives.

ok, found myself falling asleep at the computer.  it's late and i'm tired so will end here.

Will the Snake Bite Me?

Well this will be a short blog.  No significant news to report -- still same ol' same ol':

1. skank continues to profess undying love via text msg (latest text being this afternoon around 5:35 pm) for STILL (legally) MARRIED father of TWO YOUNG children, using capital letters; spelling his name out in full; and using multiple exclamation points.  now call my memory foggy, but in grade school didn't that have some sort of significance that ranked on par with drawing hearts on your notebook, and matching your first name together with your steady's (in this case: still LEGALLY married) last name?

2. back and forth e-mails.  the other day skankshine sent to whore-se (surprise, surprise), another grade school forward which was this personality questionnaire. he actually took the time to write out his answers on an index card --- it's sitting right next to the laptop as i type.  how astute of skankshine to psychoanalyze whore-se by determining the significance of his favorite animal, and whether he prefers the ocean to the lake.  of course whore-se was soooooo astounded by the accuracy of his personality profile (but gee, take a look at all the answers and you'll see they're pretty much the same, ego-boosting answer, just worded slightly differently).  of course before hitting the 'send' button, whore-se had to profess his undying love with the ol': 'I love you!!' cherry on top.

but the big news will be how interesting this weekend will be.  today was the day i told the lawyer to release the letter -- i was HOPING  to have money in hand (whore-se usually coughs up his portions of shared bills by paying me on the 1st and 15th of each month) before the letter dropped.  ok, he didn't offer up any dough but i can't wait any longer on that letter. i need OUT of this joke of a marriage. 

the lawyer's office is relatively close to where we live, so the letter may arrive as early as tomorrow.  i'm sure whore-se will wonder why i couldn't just tell him about the impending divorce, rather than have word reach him via mail.

ok, it's been a loooooooooooooooooong week and i just realized that i fell asleep at the computer!! signing off for now, and will let you know how smoothly the weekend went IF the letter reaches our box tomorrow.

The Snakes Have Returned to the Valley... and with a bit of Venom

Ahhhhhh, the weekend was for the most part nice -- no "hubby" (does he even DESERVE that title????) disrespectfully strolling back home to his family after spending time with his beloved skankshine.

sidenote:  thurs was funny because i asked him when his flight was coming in.  his response: "why do you want to know?"  my inner response: "so that i know when my happy party is going to come to a crashing end."  my actual verbal response: "um, so i know when you're coming in."  his response: "2 i guess."  holy sh*t, is THAT how the airlines are running things these days????  they just throw times out there and HOPEFULLY the right one lands in your lap?? wow, that must make flying not only fun, but a real bee-atch when it comes to planning things.  whatever, "2 o'clock.... i guess" it is.

Friday night a sitter watched the kids and a girlfriend and i went to a f*ckaware party -- ain't yo' mama's old fashioned tupperware party.  hey, if this experience has taught me something, it's that there's always room for self-improvement.  sure whore-se got fed up that my sex drive pretty much drove away, but hey, after having 2 kids 17 months apart; a full-time job; a side business so that one day i can be my own boss;  a job as a fitness instructor to help supplement that side business; AND i'm with the kids a MAJORITY of the time, it's no wonder the sex took a back seat.  so not to sound like a 'battered wife' who takes the blame for being on the receiving end of her man's anger, BUT i will be a woman, look in the mirror and say, yes, i did neglect my husband sexually.  BUT had he given me a chance to "fix" things and STOPPED having his affair, my situation (and postings) would be a WHOLE LOT different.  so anyways, i write all of that to say, i know what about myself needs "fixing," so friday's party will benefit the next man who comes into my life.  i also feel that it's a step back onto the road of confidence to feel better about myself in terms of a woman, confident in herself and her sexuality, because let's face it, when your man is cheating on you -- with an older (and honestly, not very attractive .... meow) whore-bag, it kind of f*cks with your self-esteem.  but friday's party felt good and once this mess behind me and my kids have had time for a healthy adjustment, LOOK OUT!:-)

so that was friday.  sat the kids and i drove down with a family friend, about an hour and 15 min away, to a nice little birthday party. the kids had a blast and it was a bit sad seeing many people who knew whore-se and myself as a pretty strong couple, but no one really knowing our current situation.  nonetheless, the kids had a blast and i had a smile.

sunday morning, before flying out, whore-se actually called to wish me a 'happy mother's day.' 

well in return, knowing that cleanliness was number 2 on his list for why he strayed outside of our marriage, i did take the time to scrub down the bathroom and stratighten up the rooms.  straightening up rooms also helps to hide my financial info that so openly sits out on my dresser.  who knows what's going to hit the fan when he gets the divorce papers.

note to self: don't forget to get the P.O. Box so that he doesn't start doing funny stuff like hoarding my mail.

hey it's 10:33 pm -- guess who just strolled up on in here.  his boxing gym commitment is from 6 - 9 pm mon- fri.  wow i guess he's EXTRA committed tonight.  [but really, how freakin' sad.  you've been away from your kids ALL weekend, and you stroll on up in here after they've been tucked away and are asleep.]

so i get a voicemail from him sunday afternoon at 3:17 pm:  "i just arrived and i'm going to get something to eat."

when i get home, i ask him if his flight was delayed.  answer: "nope."  question:  "so what time did you get in."  answer:  "around 1"  hmmmmmmmmm, he must have checked his cell phone into the baggage claim because it took him 2 hrs and 17 min to call when he arrived.  throwing random arrival times out there and losing people's cell phones --- those quirky airlines i tell ya'!

yesterday, he was a bit on the pissed side because while out of town, apparently he heard it from someone that i've been saying that he stole $20K.  WTF?!?!  i asked him why he doesn't just say he wants out, rather than coming at me from a new angle. 

people, in addition to finding a cure for cancer; the answer to life's questions; the secret for making cellulite disappear forever; and the recipe for a a perfect batch of gluten-free brownies, PLEASE riddle me this:  WHY oh WHY can't the man just stand up and say, "i want out of this joke of a marriage"?????

instead he flys off the handle about this supposed money-stealing rumor.  i had to hold back my tongue when he said, "i know i cheated on you [FINALLY some sort of admission of guilt!!!! albeit a little over a month later -- but i'll take it!!!], but i'm not going to jail over something you're saying."  i wanted to say mutha f*cker, learn your freakin' verb tenses!  when something is in the past and over and DONE with, you get the right to used the 'ed' -- as in PAST TENSE.  BUT when you're STILL doing the deed, it's present tense, so change your statement to "i know i'm cheatING on you, but...."  paranoid dummy.  meow.

ok, that was this weekend. well at least i can say i enjoyed MOST of my mother's day weekend. 

OH almost forgot, whore-se did give me 2 mother's day cards -- one from the kids, and one from him:  signed, "Love, Jose."

sorry, call me jaded, but i wouldn't doubt if his skanky whore, in an attempt to take the higher ground, said "you really should acknowledge her on mother's day.  sure she's a lousy wife, but she's still a great mom." that was my suspicion, which was even further substantiated when the church-going, adultery condoning whore (the 3rd leg of the twisted friendship traingle) forwarded me a "touching" mother's day poem.  ARRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! these freakin' HYPOCRITES and their cheezy forwards!!!  if it's not some hypocritical e-mail about religion and letting Jesus in to your life [um yeah, hit the send button and you've instantly wiped away all sins associated with breaking one of the 10 commandments you pious hypocrites], it's some 3rd rate, miserably failed attempt to tug at heartstrings e-mail about life, love, and living life to the fullest.  oh geeze, i think my throw-up file needs backup.

Snake-free Valley for the Weekend

well whore-se leaves for GA tomorrow [his best friend from high school is graduating from law school so he's going out there in support of her big event -- well at least he is supportive of SOME of the women in his life].

anyways, his being gone is at least one free weekend without the blatant disrespect of being with his main skeeze, and strolling into the house, back to his family, after he's had his bonding time with her.  he wanted to make sure to 'spend time with the kids' tonight, seeing as he was away for the weekend.

[sidenote: he should have thought of that on tues, when my daughter, son, and i were celebrating my daughter's 6th birthday at the olive garden in our PJs, while whore-se instead chose to go to his boxing gym [where he's the VOLUNTEER head coach, and where he met his main skeeze and the bible-toting adultery advocater]; buuuuuuuuuuuuuut i will say that he eventually showed up -- AFTER we had finished our meal (and if you know kids, at the age of 4 and 6 - -they're not exactly express eaters), where we had to wait for him to arrive.]

on a different note, DARN, pushed my luck and got caught forwarding texts from his cell phone tonight to a mutual friend. i forgot to go into the 'delete' file and delete the messages i forwarded. oh well, couldn't help myself.  those moronic messages  were dripping with so much cheezy love sentiments that if you stuck a bowl of tostitos beneath the cell phone, i swear you would have gotten your own dish of nachos, and i thought that our mutual friend had a craving for a late night snack of nachos.

he asked me if i sent a text to our mutual friend. i said yes. when he asked why, i replied "because i left my phone in the car."  his reply "bullsh*t."  well he'd know BS best, seeing as he's recently earned his tripple PhD in the subject.

ok, i'm mentally kicking myself for being in such a rush that i got sloppy tonight.  well, i was trying to forward as fast as i could while he was upstairs bathing the kids and reading them their nightime story.  i figured since he was allllllllll about spending time with the kids tonight before his weekend away that he could have all the fun of bathing them and getting them ready for bed too. anyways, i asked my daughter to pick a looooooooooooooooong story for tonight so that i'd have enough time to fiddle with his phone.

well again, he's gone for the weekend so that's at least something to smile about. :-D

Keeping an Eye on the Snakes in the Valley

ok, it's been a while since i blogged  --- must be because i was too busy throwing up after reading the "heartfelt," CORNY exchange of sentimental e-mail banter between WHORE-SE and his middle-aged, skanky 'Sunshine.' 

but honestly, my bro said it best -- of all the names he had to pick, why did he feel 'sunshine' the most appropriate??  with the exception of the bit of grey circles beneath her eyes, and the grey hair strands starting to pop up on her affirmation-needing melon, she's darker than an oil slick.  meow.

ok, the most fun part about snooping <and word of advice to ignorant husbands wantonly throwing their sacred wedding vows down the garbage disposal, if you're gonna carry on intimate conversations with your sloppy-seconds lapping ho-bags, ya might want to change the password that you entrusted your wives with>...

so where was i...  oh yeah, the most fun part about snooping, is being able to share their 'touching' and intimate conversations with friends, along with my own editorial comments included of course.   and now i consider anyone against adultery my friend, and to my new friends, i now start part one of corniness theater:

PART I:  from ho-bag to whore-se.  a cheezy impersonal forward that's about as sentimental and touching as the crap left on the cutting room floor of a hallmark factory:

If I happened to show up on your door step
crying,

Would you Care?
If I called you and asked you to pick me up because
something Happened,
Would you come?
If I had one day left, to live my life;
Would you be part of That last day?
If I needed a shoulder to cry on, Would you give me Yours?
Your aspiration is your motivation, your
motivation
is your
belief,

Your belief is your peace, your peace is
your target,
Your target is heaven, and life is like hell
without FRIENDS.

Interjection:  ok, ok, i've had more sentimental, tear-jerking moments crapping out a taco bell burrito than wading through that drivel... yet my ignorant whore-se felt so touched by her wondering if their friendship truly had value, that he took the time to write about as heart-tugging a reply as a kindergartener copying a father's day poem onto his homemade paperweight father's day gift.

Part II:  CORNY reply:

my answer is yes to all of those questions.
whenever,
wherever, if you ever need me for anything, just
call my name and i'll be there to protect, to care, to
love, to guide but more importantly, to make you
smile. smile for me sunshine

Interjection:  did he actually write "smile for me sunshine"?????  <note to self:  file that response under the "throw up later" file...>

Part III: ho-bag's reply to that heaping pile of corn:

Thank you honey!  your compassion & concern is very
much appreciated.

Part IV:  whore-se's response to FORMER mutual friend's [and 3rd leg of the twisted friendship between ho-bag and whorse-se] e-mail, in which adultery facilitator e-mailed pictures of ho-bag [most likely on vacation with fiance of 5 yrs -- if the cropping job was any indication] to whore-se:

can you see now why I love this woman? DAMN!!!!!

Part V: whore-se's 2nd reply to 2nd e-mail in which another picture of the skank ho was e-mailed to him:

the beauty of this woman should be shown to the
world!! there is not a smile in this world like hers.
that smile had me at day one! I LOVE THIS WOMAN!!

Part VI: just yesterday, whore-se felt the need to reach out to his main skeeze, and share a picture of his crappy fartwork with her:

you're my heart. I truly mean that. oh...your picture
that [CHURCH GOING HYPOCRITE] sent...sunshine...wow...your smile is
incredible. you had me the first time I saw you
smile...i'm speechless and that's rare for me. is
there any wonder why I fell in love with you? the
picture can explain why my heart beats faster
everytime I see you. I LOVE YOU SUNSHINE!!


here's the new art piece. it's almost done. it's
entitle; "When A Man Cries"

Interjection:  learn how to spell dumba*s; and oh by the way, i no longer have to compliment that craptastic fartwork you've been torturing poor canvases with.  your proportions SUCK and i've seen better stuff come out of a elementary school summer camp.  meow.

Part VII: skank's response to his oh-so-touching e-mail:

Love It!

Also, how appropriate since I was able to see that sensitive side of you and thanks for having trust and respect in me to allow me into your "Space"!

[WHORE]

P.S.  Enjoy your daughter´s birthday and I will see you on Wednesday.

Interjection:  see you on wed eh.... hmmmm, i might have to suddenly come up with something to do so that he has to take the kids, and may just miss out on his rendevous...

ok, it's fun and all making editorial comments on those e-mails, but not gonna lie.  reading them feels like getting punched in the stomach -- BUT, i NEED to read those so that my decision to move forward with the divorce is reinforced.  he's apparently had a couple of years to turn off his "love" switch, while my world began to unravel when i discovered those e-mails on march 26th.  so every now and then, the idiot side of me starts to feel bad that a divorce would drain him finanacially, but you know what, continue to read crap like that and you'll soon learn that you feel a lot sorrier for yourself and having to put up with crap like this, than the sorry excuse for a man who is dishing out that crap.

paid the lawyer's retainer yesterday and inquired about the most inexpensive way to get out of this joke of a marriage.  he's gonna send whore-se a letter and if whore-se is smart (HA -- 2 words that really shouldn't be used in the same sentence: whore-se and smart), he would hire a lawyer, and we can hash out the division of assets; child custody; etc. in an office BEFORE going to court.